soundtrack for my funeral

so, what's new? the year, yes. a new beginning, or at least unwritten pages of a brandnew calendar, yet to be filled with dates of birthdays and plans for, let's say, january. for me the new year had already started in mid-december, when I felt that things were changing or even came to an end. some beliefs, friendships and other passions. it's not an exact dateline to tell me when a period of time finishs but rather a feeling, involving calmness and excitement simultaneously. so on new year's eve I celebrated what has happened before, being grateful what I have now and almost outragously curious what is to come into my ever changing life.

now I'm back in Frankfurt, already missing my family and friends, ...home! everyone who has once been there, far in the east, will agree about it's beauty. one day I will be back in Dresden, sitting at the riverside in the summer, looking at the centries-old buildings and just feel content. it's not a smart move to hang your heart on a city, or a certain place, and then leave, but as a passionate human being it's all but unaviodable. my rare visits make it even more special and my appreciation to be there grows every time I wander through the familiar streets. is it just me, or are people in Dresden more friendly, indeed? maybe a bit more naive, too, than in Frankfurt or other bigger cities, but caring and outgoing. for now I lean on my memories and just wait til the weekend until I'm back home, playing frisbee. it's work, more or less, that made me coming back one week before uni starts again. I called my boss at work this afternoon, to ask when I have to work again, and he said, "nightshift, tonight!". not the best news when I'm still in holiday-mood and facing a heap of stuff to be done soon... anyways, I prepared myself mentally, until he called me just a few minutes ago to tell me he got confused with the week days: "your nightshifts are starting tomorrow". coolio. that means I can get out and see a friend, softly shaking off that slight lonelyness, which already caught me moments after my last ally left me, after 7 incredibly wonderful days.

it's not a relief being back in Frankfurt, it feels even less home after all that fun I experienced elsewhere. though I know it's more the snowless weather and early darkness working against positive thoughts, and therefor I just have to kick my ass and get started. but before I do that, I create a playlist. it's a priority, music always helps. it has pulled me out of more shit than any friend ever could. hence I don't find it akward to think about the music I would like to be played at my funeral. that'd be the only thing important to me. people who know me also know I'm making soundtracks for everything. cleaning. packing. trips. moods. parties. I was thinking about a song for my wedding, so why not for my funeral? I think those songs are beautiful and I'd rather want the audience (I'm a bit unsure if this is the right term in this context...) to listen to them than to long tearful speeches. I always found music more consoling than just words.



that's it for now.
tomorrow hasn't spoken yet,
so I'll let this day set
for the same difference to come anyhow!