seed of memory

ui, so many times I tried to Blog, but never finished the entry... what a methaphor! My life seems to be full of unfinished things. here's the review:

13.7.
cool, blogging from home, Dresden.
it's horrible weather outside, it's been raining all day long and I felt the strain and excitement of the last days combined with that making me even more tired. Am I really getting older or why do I suddenly need more than 6hours sleep?
while listening Terry Reid and waiting for my Mum to finish her cigarette outside I recall the ÄRZTE concert on friday.
it's been great, so many young people, so much different from the other gigs I've been to (The Who, Genesis, Billy Joel, in reverse order). gotta say I was suprised how many songs I could sing along with and by their comedic talent altough it was below the belt a bit more often than necessary. anyways, the music and the way the Ärzte played was quite different to a Phil Collins as well: louder - of course! - , more ignorant regarding perfectionism in striking the right notes and more flexible regarding the lyrics. so it was less predictable and, as the other side of the coin, less professional. well, they are probably as half as young so what did I expect? it was definitely worth going, not to say an experience I should have had a lot earlier in my life! I liked the mood, that it didn't rain despite all the black clouds and that we weren't standing in the middle where people were poking lots. Thank you, Ben, for taking me there!

since I can't choose what to come to know I can only hope I won't do the same mistake twice. and always try not to despair when some things never change, no matter how much I try.
for example the behavior of some people... I had a much needed and fruitful conversation with my flat-mate and now that we both accepted that we won't change things are way easier. coming down to a basis where we agree helped improving the mood and refreshed our relationship. I didn't know that giving up on an idea sometimes is a success!
what I won't accept, never and under no circumstances, is the behavior some men not even seem to notice as wrong. but before I explain the events that made me becoming a misandrist I'll enjoy some champaign and mum-daughter-talk involving future plans and childhood memories... *sigh*

16.7.
it seems already ages ago I've been home... my everyday-life has me back in it's clutches, I go to work, try to find somewhere/ someone to look after my guinea pigs and also a place for me. at least our current landlord confirmed the cancellation of our flat so we'll definitely be outta this place by oct 1st. it's gonna be a hassle but I wanna be closer to the city of Frankfurt, the centre, the place of action! And living in a shared flat with at least 3 other people would be cool. I wonder what it's like to live with men... I mean, thinking about the advantages (someone to repair stuff, setting up shelfs, killing spiders, helping me getting rid of unwanted adorers,...) and disadvantages (someone not thinking of what he's saying, if he's talking at all, dirt everywhere,...) I think I'd take the risk! and , BTW, my misandry is slowly fading. I was never convinced, really, and I'll never be a feminist, but sometime it is annyoing and exhausting to see how men treat women: as trophys, entertainment, things to play with. luckily there always have been enough examples to disprove that theory!

18.7. (today!)
ok, something really up-to-date. hm... maybe some Blogger, or even everyone else among my dear readers know that feeling when there seem to be so many things going on and no minute to rest, event after event, but despite that telling others about this stuff seems weird. I mean, it's every-day-life, nothing extraordinary. I didn't win the lottery (I start overusing this example, I know), didn't marry (hell, no!), didn't do my driver's license (yet) or shot someone (...). So everyone who expected some heart-breaking, ground-shaking, breath-taking news, please stop reading this blog and by a BILD/ SUN.

I cut my hair. no-one seems to notice but actually it was a lot of hair on the ground... And it feels much lighter. I even look DIFFERENT. well, whatever. it's outta my face and it looks better than before, that's all that counts. I don't wanna be one of those always asking: "Do you notice something?" on the other hand I can't deny I like when people DO notice...

I like my work. and it likes me. my boss, who used to ignore me when I started about 2 years ago, now says "Good morning young lady, nice to see you!" Question: Did he change, or did I? Or was it life?
After cancelling some plans I'm good with my money for the summer. Not too many debts except those necessary to pay the study fee (the regular one, for the ticket etc, the other one is really abolished!). and I'll hopefully have another job soon, my third one then, aaaaand... I'll be a waitress! yes! something one would least expect. well, at least myself! I just can't imagine I can do that. but if I really wanna live I have to do what I am afraid of!